Karl Marinko, we miss you!!!!!!

Please, send your comments, memories, pics, Anything that is " Karl Marinko"
to: melminda@gmail.com and I will post it here... or leave a comment.

LYRICS I HEARD TODAY

THIS SONG CAME ON THE RADIO, I NEVER HEARD IT BEFORE I THINK ITS NEW.... I FELT LIKE KARL WAS THERE WITH ME,

A heart of gold
But it lost it's pride
Beautiful veins
And bloodshot eyes
I see your face
In another light

Why'd you have to go
And let it die
Why'd you have to go
And let it die
Why'd you have to go
And let it die
In too deep
And out of time
Why'd you have to go
And let it die

A simple man
And his blushing bride
(Why'd you have to go And let it die)
Intravenous
Intertwined
(Why'd you have to go And let it die)
Hearts gone cold
Your hands were tied
(Why'd you have to go And let it die)

Why'd you have to go

And let it die
(Why'd you have to go And let it die)
Why'd you have to go
And let it die
In too deep
And out of time
Why'd you have to go
And let it die

Do you ever think of me
You're so considerate
Did you ever think of me
Oh so considerate

by the FOO FIGHTERS

Karl isms

I was thinking about the little things that were Karl like "Did you just call me a goathead?"
Some people even referred to him as Goat-head Karl

Here is another:
whatch doin Karl? "nuffin, N-U-F-F-I-N"


IF YOU HAVE ANY KARLISMS (or any Karl memories !!!)PLEASE SHARE!!!
POST IN COMMENT SECTION
Thanks

KARL MEMORY

Karl and I were Married August 15th, 1999. Unfortunately we had separated before my 30th birthday. (September 1999). I was staying at the FOREVER’S END House for a few months. Sometime before Christmas, in December, I received a package with no return address. It was a cassette tape and on it, one single song. SMOOTH BY SANTANA. I knew who sent it, Karl. I played that song as reasonably loud as I could, over and over. Angry Bob got angry of course. I didn’t care. I loved it. I knew that Karl sent it because of the chorus, mainly.

IT’S JUST LIKE THE OCEAN UNDER THE MOON
IT’S THE SAME AS THE EMOTION THAT I GET FROM YOU
YOU GOT THE KIND OF LOVIN THAT COULD BE SO SMOOTH
GIVE ME YOUR HEART MAKE IT REAL OR ELSE FORGET ABOUT IT

I wanted to believe it was because of every single lyric in that song.

Every time I hear that song I think of Karl and I would venture to guess before he passed, that song made him think of me too. It should go without saying that Karl and I were back together before the holidays that year. We spent Y2K New Years Eve together at a private party gig he had with his band RedEye…. (I think).

Being Marinko

Ok, so I know what you might be thinking;

"where was Mel the last couple year of Karls life?"

Simply, I was getting my shit together. At least within myself.
The very last conversation Karl and I had was not supposed to be the last one and that was my fault. I procrastinated for a season or so before I got the nerve to contact him.
This was a lesson in why not to procrastinate. We never know when it will be the last anything. The last day we have, last chance to reach out, last sunrise, last full moon, last kiss, last joke, last hug, last apology or opportunity to forgive.
Karl and I already forgave each other for our failed attempt at a healthy marriage that was for a time, a blight on our friendship. In May of '05 he gave me his blessing to keep the Marinko name and that meant a lot to me. It's complicated to explain why this is but, it did bring a lot of peace to me.
Then November of '05 happened. Those of you that know me or have been reading this blog since way back may remember the theft of everything personal that I owned... from my CDs and shampoo to my irreplaceable Poetry binder. as well as other nefarious activities of the soul-less vaccuums that populate Oregons Capitol city.
During and following this F*cked up time, living the way I was, I ended up hurting a friend of Karl's. Well, bottom line: I caused him to lose a lot - monetarily.

(Stephan if you happen on this post use the links on the side bar to contact me. I'd like the opportunity make amends)

Karl was justifiably pissed off at me. He also didn't believe me when I told him all the crap that happened. Truth is; it was not right for me to let that affect my own code of conduct or moral obligations as a friend. So Karl was right when he said,

This is bullshit Mel!!

But I digress.
Now, what had ended my procrastination and fueled my effort to contact Karl in late September '07 was an internet search. Not mine. Somebody out there... In Northern California. I don't know who it was.
Let me explain. I have a 'sitemeter' on this page. It gives me statistics on visits here. It tells me the referring link and if it is an internet search, it shows me the exact terms. I honestly hadn't looked at my sitemeter since I moved back here to So Cal. Dec. '06. I really cannot remember what prompted me to look that day.
The search terms were this:

"Melinda Marinko" Death

This was done September 28, 2007. I discovered it that weekend around the 30th. I thought it was Karl searching for me, wondering if maybe I was dead. When I first saw it I had this real morbid... numb, kinda freaky feeling. My son was here that weekend and I showed it to him. I don't think he really thought much of it. He went with my theory that it was Karl looking for me. When I asked him if he would be a little freaked out if he saw his name there his response was,
"I don't know... are you done now, can I use the computer?"

Karl Marinko had a huge impact on my life. I was fortunate to tell him a little bit of this truth but, not nearly to the extent he needed to hear. Not when he needed to hear it. Drugs and all the ugly layers of addiction and it's toll on the addict denied Karl and I our purpose and what we were meant to do and be. The lessons we failed. The lessons we ignored. The lessons I now must pay attention to. Because he reminded me. Because his living his life and his death were important on levels that go deeper and are much bigger than what we comprehend on a daily basis.
We all feel that if we did something different in our relationships with Karl, he might still be here today. Or might not of passed a troubled soul but the reality we know deep down is that there wasn't anything we could do.
Here's to you MacDaddy Marinko you goat-head and rest in peace.

Messages from the other side ( Audio only)

Karl and Mitsu.

First pictures I got of Karl. . . I think this was a year before we got married.

That dog loved him so much.

These were good times, we took these because I was leaving town and wanted his picture. I love that he wrote that on there...

I loved his sense of humor.

A day at the beach with Karl 1999

Dear Karl

I cannot believe I will never talk to you or hear from you again. I just found out today. I sent you an email last night. I am so grateful for our last visit together. That was 2005. We made our peace. We were friends always from the beginning. You gave me so much and I know I expressed my humble gratitude the last I saw you but now I don't feel it was enough. I have and will always carry a part of you with me. Our Humor was the best part of us and only one of the great things about you, Karl you will sorely be missed by countless hearts.

Love Always,
Mel (Merryweather)